Denied

Don't you hate it when you go to the beach and get sand between your toes. Also it's a job to get from your spot in the sun to the sea without burning your feet on the hot sand.
Okay...maybe one downside to it. No more Kelly Brook running to stop her feet burning on the hot sand.


I've had this idea for ages about some type of sock for the beach. It beats a flip flop that always falls off or trips you up.
The sock could be in different colours to match your speedos or swimming costume.

What a great idea I thought, plans of dragons den came flooding through my head, world domination etc....

Then the shock of finding out someone has already done it... Gutted

http://www.sandsocks.net/

Hope nobody steals my next idea of door handle & full door combo for left handed people



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Bring on the wall

BRING ON THE WALL




It's a sad day when gang leader Anton Du Beke and his fellow gang members Austin Healey and I'm A Celebrity winner Joe Swash resort to using their love of getting through Walls and using it for crime!
Various Cash machines in and around Middleton, Manchester have been robbed, with the gang using their ability to get through holes to get the cash out.
The cries of "bring on the wall" have been heard late into the night around the local area.
Measures have been put into place in the local night clubs with the infamous glory holes being filled in, due to clubbers fear of Anton Du Beke and his gang hoping to access these holes.
Golf Courses will be open as usual.


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If you start a job finish it

Amazing how people get praised for not doing their job. Look at these miners, meeting celebs now, presidents, probably Chico next.
All because they didn't do their job correctly. If they dug the hole correctly it wouldn't of caved in. They are miners, so why didn't they at least start digging out? They could of easily of done it in the 69 days they were trapped down there, rather than sat playing poker, pin the tale on the donkey, scrabble and re-acting scenes from the film The Descent (each took turns dressed in the latex suit that the miner Joe bloggs had with him, to scare the shit out of the others)

What next? People at the crematoria unable to turn the oven on so....we have to bury our own dead relatives. November the 5th will be a night of fireworks, treacle toffee, bonfires and dead grandma flo strapped onto a rocket!!!

It's started at asda already, scanning your own shopping because some lazy student doesn't want to do it anymore.
It's like if a surgeon is doing an operation and it gets abit tricky he hands you the knife and says good luck with that!

If you start a job finish it, don't give them all a medal because they screwed up and then couldn't be bothered to get out. Haven't they watched the great escape? Shawshank Redemption?


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Why I turned out the way I am

Ever think what you watched as a child made you who you are today? Being born in 1978, I experienced the cartoons of Transformers, Thundercats, Superted, Danger mouse and He-Man.







The final one I mentioned He-Man.... Well when I look back on it this was abit strange, He-Man was a blonde beefy guy in tight pants. He had a cast of other characters along side him, who's names are kind of abit rude or can be taken in a different meaning these days like:
Ram-Man, Fisto & Extendar....all very sexual I think.

Then there's....
Beast Man
Faker
Whiplash
Strongarm
Trap-Jaw.

And people wonder why kids from the 80's are abit odd and wierd... Blame He-Man!!!!






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Baby baby baby...

Come on feel the noise (babies crying)
My thoughts on babies are that fat/big babies must of been in too long feeding on too much from it's mum, they should of come out earlier...The same could be said with babies that are born with hair - they've been in long enough for them to grow hair.






Skinny or small babies should of been kept in alot longer, they needed more food. The women just need to hold them in abit longer just like when you need to fart and your in a lift or a meeting , you just keep your fart in as long as you can, yeah it feels abit of an ache but such a relief when it's out.

That looks tasty

A new book turns up at our house today - the new nigella lawson cook book.


just flicking through the pages past the food to find the lovely nigella in some seductive pose reminds me of the days as a young pup when looking through the littlewoods catalog, then it was skipping past cotton jumpers to arriving at the nightwear then in to the bra section.
You guys know what I mean, don't say you never did it...

Power Fail

I got my Power Balance recently, since then i've not had the best of times. It has cursed me!


It says it should work with my body's natural energy flow. The complete opposite for me, no energy, lack of sleep, aches and flu, definitely not athletic or sportsman material! The Power Balance wristband contains a Mylar hologram designed to react with the body's natural energy. Mine must of contained a evil visionaries hologram from the darkling lords.


The visionaries were a classic kids tv show that I loved.
So the band is off from today, so time will tell if it helps me feel better without it on.

Film of the week

Jackboots on Whitehall






Can the nation unite in time to make one last stand against the Nazi forces? Jackboots whitehall tells the story of an alternate WWII in which the Nazis plan to tunnel under the English Channel and into the heart of London in order to capture Britain while the country’s army is elsewhere. A small group of villagers represent the last line of defense against the Nazis. It's a British animation, using plastic toys, if you liked Team America then you will love this

Here is the Trailer for the film

12A, 92mins, opens Friday, October 8th

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Non-Wonder Book Cover of the Solar System

I've been informed that Brian Cox (Professor Brian Cox, OBE is a particle physicist, a Royal Society research fellow, and a professor at the University of Manchester as well as researcher on one of the most ambitious experiments on Earth, the ATLAS experiment on the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland. He is best known to the public as a science broadcaster and presenter of the highly popular BBC2 series Wonders of the Solar System. He was also the keyboard player in the UK pop band D:Ream in the 1990s) has a new book out called Wonders of the Solar System.

I think they could of done better with the cover. What do you guys think...?

But still please go and buy the book, it has big pictures in it, so people like me who have no idea what the hadron collider does - except it sounds like a new kind of death star to bring about the end of the world!!!!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0007386907?ie=UTF8&tag=giamil-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=0007386907

So i've decided to make three new and improved covers

The Oldham Version

The Button Moon Version

The Masters Of The Universe Version