Peek-a-poo

Everyone at some point wakes up in the middle of the night needing a wee. Yet why don't we ever wake up needed a poo?

Think about it, I bet you can't remember the last time. This maybe seen a strange subject but in all seriousness there's gotta be something in this. Is it a body thing where everything shuts down? Yet why do we need to wee? Is it the body thinking it's easier to wee than poo? 

Is it the fact we can't see well in the dark, so why bother attempting it? Well in full view of everyone Paula Radcliffe did it mid marathon, so this shows it shouldn't matter time or place. When you gotta go....you gotta go.

Is it only humans?  I know from watching sloth documentaries that sloths only poop once a week but judging on how slow they move that explains why it's once a week.

One thing I've only just found out is that a birds poo is white cos they can't wee, yes really they can't wee. I thought everything could wee I thought it was a standard thing for all species. Well I was never taught that a school yet I was taught useless things like asking "où est la bibliothèque?"

This is where it would be good to know a scientist. It's one of them questions probably not many people have thought about.

Hopefully we'll get to the bottom of this.

Dog Poo Hanging

On my way to work it's very rare that there's anything of interest. Things have started to change. As I walk through a Chadderton playing field I start to notice unusual things. It's mainly down to a selected few dog walkers who are to blame.
Most people pick up their dogs poo and dispose of it in a bin. Not this particular culprit, who seems to have great pleasure in hanging dog poo bags from tree branches. Yes, hanging them off trees! They must go to great trouble to tie the bag to a tree branch.

Maybe they're thinking, well I've not thrown it on the floor so it will be ok.  Sadly how times have changed, people don't care about where they live these days.

The famous saying about 'you don't shit on your own door step' seems appropriate. Maybe when I find out who the culprit is I'll go round to their house and hang bags of shit on their door handle and see how they like it.

Pedigree Rulers

Amazing how dogs seem to have taken over the world on the sly, we've hardly noticed it has happened.
Who would of thought 20 years ago or so, that dogs would be jumping for joy after watching their owner pick up their shit and put it in a bag. They must love it knowing that they can run anywhere and someone will chase after them with a asda carrier bag waiting for them to poo.
They even are treated to holiday kennels by some people, some food costs even more than our food & they have doggy shampoo
Surely dogs are on a par with babies now. We treat them the same. As well as cleaning up their poo, We even talk to them in a different voice.
Now we dress them up in little outfits and some people stuff them in handbags - (the dogs, not babies) but who knows, baby bags could be the next IN-thing!
Plus if the baby cries too much, just zip up the bag!
Can't wait to see what dogs get next, maybe we'll be carrying umbrellas to keep them dry when we take them for walkies while we get pissed wet through.

Mind Your Step

Why don't horse riders get fined for their horses crapping on the road? But dog owners get fined for doing the same! It's just not fair. Horse poo must be x10 the size of dog poo and if you stand in it...well you are well and truly in the shit. plus if we walked our dog along the road we would get arrested, fined etc... but horses can go where they want, shit where they want,

BUT!!! Bring Back the Rag n Bone man, I miss seeing a dirty tramp on a horse n cart coming up the street. Let's give all tramps free horse n carts!

For those who don't know the Rag and bone man is a british phrase for a junk dealer. Historically the phrase referred to an individual who would travel the streets of a city with a horse drawn cart, and would collect old rags (for converting into fabric and paper), bones for making glue, scrap iron and other items, often trading them for other items of limited value.

They would use a distinctive call to alert householders to their presence, and/or ring a hand bell. They would call out "rag-and-bone", delivered in a sing-song fashion. Long usage tended to simplify the words, for instance down to "any raa-boh".