Tramtastic

So the end of the world has been brought forward to this Sunday 16th December rather than the anticipated 21st December - Trams will now run to and from Shaw, this means the Shaw gorbies can escape on the tram!
Go and search "Shaw gorbies" if you have no idea what one of these strange creatures is.
The people of Manchester best be ready for the influx of visitors from Shaw. This is as long as they can figure out the ticket machines.
As discussed on twitter earlier I was informed that they use meat pies as currency & pork scratching as loose change, which is sure to cause problems with the mancs, i can see a few pies will be getting thrown back at them.
So yet more visitors for Manchester, 1st it was the usual Man Utd fans travelling up from the South, then just months ago Oldhamers appeared, now just days away come the gorbies, after the test trials from Shaw to Manchester were successful, as can be seen from this exclusive picture.

It's the end of the world as we know it!

Hard to handle

A couple of weeks ago on a routine journey round Tesco I discovered the bargain section. I noticed a load of Paralympic mugs for sale. To my disappointment they were in full working order! Surely if your selling Paralympic mugs they should be chipped or missing a handle to keep with the spirit of the Paralympics. Could even sell attachments handles to allow the mug to compete with your other mugs in the cupboard.

Pudsey Bear necessity, really?

As you are reading this, Pudsey bears will be beating off kids who try to give him a hug! Battens & riot shields in hand to beat off any kids encroaching within a few inches of them.

The BBC have told them not to give hugs because a handshake or wave is better. In other words they're scared to death of improper conduct accusations. The bandage over his eye is acting as protection just incase he gives the kids a wink.

This is sad news, we all love a hug. Why should a couple of idiots ruin it for us all?
Weird guys have been on the Earth for ever it's not just since they were employed by the BBC as dj's.

Stranger Danger was how I was brought up with.

The kids at the football are made up if they get a hug from Chaddy the Owl the Oldham mascot.

What's going to happen next? Stick the mascot in a bubble and roll him round to meet kids?

Well if I see Welephant outside the fire station, I for one will be giving him a hug!

Tarnished Heroes

One time hero & legend Jimmy Saville is currently being accused of being a sex pest. Many years ago I so wanted to sit and Jimmy's lap with a "Jim'll fixed it for me" medal round my neck..... How wrong I was! I can't remember what exactly I wanted him to fix for me, maybe something like going in a race car or walking on water.

It makes me wonder how many of my childhood favourites could turn out to be something I didn't expect.

What next? George from Rainbow turns out to be gay! Surely that couldn't happen? That pink hippo just knew what was in fashion, loved anything pink and just was in touch with his feminine side. I can't remember if he did wear make-up the odd time.

What next? Gordon the Gopher, was just Philip Schofields pimp? After each show Gordon would venture out and offer Phil out to various bored housewives to help pay for Gordon's coke addiction.

 

What next? "Bobby the banana" is just a sex toy! No more info needed.

What next? Mr Benn, turns out he was a cross-dresser and also a benefit cheat? using various disguises to claim various benefits using different identities to collect thousands of pounds.

What next? He-Man was just filling himself up with steroids and loved dressing in tight leather clothes. Enjoying nights in G.A.Y offering to show off his magical sword.

Let's just hope that these and only these are the only shame of the 80's.

 

Posted with Blogsy

Pedigree Rulers

Amazing how dogs seem to have taken over the world on the sly, we've hardly noticed it has happened.
Who would of thought 20 years ago or so, that dogs would be jumping for joy after watching their owner pick up their shit and put it in a bag. They must love it knowing that they can run anywhere and someone will chase after them with a asda carrier bag waiting for them to poo.
They even are treated to holiday kennels by some people, some food costs even more than our food & they have doggy shampoo
Surely dogs are on a par with babies now. We treat them the same. As well as cleaning up their poo, We even talk to them in a different voice.
Now we dress them up in little outfits and some people stuff them in handbags - (the dogs, not babies) but who knows, baby bags could be the next IN-thing!
Plus if the baby cries too much, just zip up the bag!
Can't wait to see what dogs get next, maybe we'll be carrying umbrellas to keep them dry when we take them for walkies while we get pissed wet through.

Ash Wallpaper

Ash Wallpaper

Here's some Ash iphone wallpapers

*CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE

4 Shades of stick

Another Physio appointment since my thumb operation. After a fairly easy first appointment, this time she introduces the stick into the therapy. Not just any stick but the "four shades of stick".

She called me into hand therapy, where I placed my hands on the table & waited for her to begin. She started by touching my hands, stroking my thumb, gently around my scar at first. Then she squirted some cream on to her hands & firmly began working it into my scar, making me tense as she pressed harder and rubbed in a circular motion. She asked if my thumb was still sensitive, "a little. Not as much as last time." She stood up and said she had something she wanted to introduce to me.

Thats when she came over with a stick, "the four shades of stick", with four different surfaces, which she used to gently stroke my thumb teasing my nerve ending, sending tingles up my arm and down my spine. This is to help get feeling back to parts of my thumb. She started off gently using the soft end with a gentle touch, but as I started to feel braver she would move to the next side of the stick, working her way up to the hard scratchy end, causing it to tingle & throb!

After she had finished I was very sore all the rubbing and stroking had taken its tole. But at least I got to take the stick home to practise with.


Who needs fifty shades of grey when you've got four shades of stick?