Tuesday 18 December 2012

Call of Reality

After these shocking killings at a school in America, people are now blaming video games.
Ban guns in America, now that is what NEEDS to happen, licensing laws & to educate people is what's needed.
We did have nut-cases before video games were invented.
Apparently now, everyone who plays Call of Duty are going to kill people - get real, not everyone who plays it is a nutcase & thinks its real life !!
Good job I play Football manager in the safety of my own home dressed in club track suit on normal match days but can't resist putting on a suit for cup finals.

Back in 80's we didn't see an increase in people jumping up head 1st into boxes & searching for super mushrooms to give us a power boost like Mario. Nor did we see people gobbling after pills like Pac-man, ok, maybe we did on the club scene we did.

So if it all turns out to be true and video games influence us, we've just got to hope that when the aliens finally come down to attack us, all our practising on space invaders will come in handy.


Thursday 13 December 2012

Tramtastic

So the end of the world has been brought forward to this Sunday 16th December rather than the anticipated 21st December - Trams will now run to and from Shaw, this means the Shaw gorbies can escape on the tram!
Go and search "Shaw gorbies" if you have no idea what one of these strange creatures is.
The people of Manchester best be ready for the influx of visitors from Shaw. This is as long as they can figure out the ticket machines.
As discussed on twitter earlier I was informed that they use meat pies as currency & pork scratching as loose change, which is sure to cause problems with the mancs, i can see a few pies will be getting thrown back at them.
So yet more visitors for Manchester, 1st it was the usual Man Utd fans travelling up from the South, then just months ago Oldhamers appeared, now just days away come the gorbies, after the test trials from Shaw to Manchester were successful, as can be seen from this exclusive picture.

It's the end of the world as we know it!


Sunday 25 November 2012

Hard to handle

A couple of weeks ago on a routine journey round Tesco I discovered the bargain section. I noticed a load of Paralympic mugs for sale. To my disappointment they were in full working order! Surely if your selling Paralympic mugs they should be chipped or missing a handle to keep with the spirit of the Paralympics. Could even sell attachments handles to allow the mug to compete with your other mugs in the cupboard.

Friday 16 November 2012

Pudsey Bear necessity, really?

As you are reading this, Pudsey bears will be beating off kids who try to give him a hug! Battens & riot shields in hand to beat off any kids encroaching within a few inches of them.

The BBC have told them not to give hugs because a handshake or wave is better. In other words they're scared to death of improper conduct accusations. The bandage over his eye is acting as protection just incase he gives the kids a wink.

This is sad news, we all love a hug. Why should a couple of idiots ruin it for us all?
Weird guys have been on the Earth for ever it's not just since they were employed by the BBC as dj's.

Stranger Danger was how I was brought up with.

The kids at the football are made up if they get a hug from Chaddy the Owl the Oldham mascot.

What's going to happen next? Stick the mascot in a bubble and roll him round to meet kids?

Well if I see Welephant outside the fire station, I for one will be giving him a hug!





Sunday 7 October 2012

Tarnished Heroes

One time hero & legend Jimmy Saville is currently being accused of being a sex pest. Many years ago I so wanted to sit and Jimmy's lap with a "Jim'll fixed it for me" medal round my neck..... How wrong I was! I can't remember what exactly I wanted him to fix for me, maybe something like going in a race car or walking on water.

It makes me wonder how many of my childhood favourites could turn out to be something I didn't expect.

What next? George from Rainbow turns out to be gay! Surely that couldn't happen? That pink hippo just knew what was in fashion, loved anything pink and just was in touch with his feminine side. I can't remember if he did wear make-up the odd time.

What next? Gordon the Gopher, was just Philip Schofields pimp? After each show Gordon would venture out and offer Phil out to various bored housewives to help pay for Gordon's coke addiction.

 

What next? "Bobby the banana" is just a sex toy! No more info needed.

What next? Mr Benn, turns out he was a cross-dresser and also a benefit cheat? using various disguises to claim various benefits using different identities to collect thousands of pounds.

What next? He-Man was just filling himself up with steroids and loved dressing in tight leather clothes. Enjoying nights in G.A.Y offering to show off his magical sword.

Let's just hope that these and only these are the only shame of the 80's.

 

Monday 1 October 2012

Pedigree Rulers

Amazing how dogs seem to have taken over the world on the sly, we've hardly noticed it has happened.
Who would of thought 20 years ago or so, that dogs would be jumping for joy after watching their owner pick up their shit and put it in a bag. They must love it knowing that they can run anywhere and someone will chase after them with a asda carrier bag waiting for them to poo.
They even are treated to holiday kennels by some people, some food costs even more than our food & they have doggy shampoo
Surely dogs are on a par with babies now. We treat them the same. As well as cleaning up their poo, We even talk to them in a different voice.
Now we dress them up in little outfits and some people stuff them in handbags - (the dogs, not babies) but who knows, baby bags could be the next IN-thing!
Plus if the baby cries too much, just zip up the bag!
Can't wait to see what dogs get next, maybe we'll be carrying umbrellas to keep them dry when we take them for walkies while we get pissed wet through.

Tuesday 28 August 2012

A Video i've produced from my photo's

Blogger seem's unable to host my full HD video that i've made. So you'll have to settle for the link below:
Here's the link for the full HD version
(Vimeo work's best with Internet Explorer or Safari)

Wednesday 22 August 2012

Ash Wallpaper

Ash Wallpaper

Here's some Ash iphone wallpapers

*CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE

Wednesday 1 August 2012

4 Shades of stick

Another Physio appointment since my thumb operation. After a fairly easy first appointment, this time she introduces the stick into the therapy. Not just any stick but the "four shades of stick".

She called me into hand therapy, where I placed my hands on the table & waited for her to begin. She started by touching my hands, stroking my thumb, gently around my scar at first. Then she squirted some cream on to her hands & firmly began working it into my scar, making me tense as she pressed harder and rubbed in a circular motion. She asked if my thumb was still sensitive, "a little. Not as much as last time." She stood up and said she had something she wanted to introduce to me.

Thats when she came over with a stick, "the four shades of stick", with four different surfaces, which she used to gently stroke my thumb teasing my nerve ending, sending tingles up my arm and down my spine. This is to help get feeling back to parts of my thumb. She started off gently using the soft end with a gentle touch, but as I started to feel braver she would move to the next side of the stick, working her way up to the hard scratchy end, causing it to tingle & throb!

After she had finished I was very sore all the rubbing and stroking had taken its tole. But at least I got to take the stick home to practise with.


Who needs fifty shades of grey when you've got four shades of stick?

Wednesday 25 July 2012

Oldham Athletic Desktop Wallpaper

Oldham Athletic Desktop Wallpaper that i've made (click on image to enlarge)

Olympic £££

I think everyone is getting sick to death of all these Olympic adverts. Whether its a product being sold with red white & blue on it, or athletics selling British made butter or something random like that. It's just non stop adverts all the time. "I'm going to wipe my arse with Olympic toilet roll" just because some pole vault athlete uses it.... Don't think so.
Our athletes don't train like they should be doing, they're too busy stripping for photo shoots tottering about in high heels. Plus we all know what they would like on their subway sandwiches now, because it's been forced down our throats.
If only I hadn't quit playing table tennis for Oldham town team when I was a teenager, I could of been quids in advertising greggs sausage rolls now.

Friday 6 July 2012

Floods with Balotelli

Balotelli isn’t bothered by these floods up in the north west of England. Last spotted in Hebden Bridge.

Okay, maybe a little bit of photoshop might of helped me take the photo ;)





Tuesday 3 July 2012

Thumb Reboot

This week see's the Reboot of Spiderman, Film reboots seem to be the in-thing of late. So how fitting it is that my thumb has decided to join in all the fun.... Well I can't really call this fun! The word "Reboot" means – Doing a “fresh start” re-launch of a previously established franchise or character. This is basically what has happened to my thumb. My thumb was previously in good nick until Hypermobility wore it down & caused so many problems that I needed to get it re-done. With my thumb popping out of joint every day while working, obviously this caused me problems & of course pain. Amazing how much Hpermobility effects people. Wasn't till around only 6 years ago I was diagnosed with it, hypermobile thumb joints & laxity in the wrist joints is where I 1st noticed problems.

So a Left thumb sesamoid arthrodesis is what I've just had done. I previously had my right thumb operated on, over 4 years ago (thumb version 1.0). This time my left was the one (thumb version 2.0). It's basically the same operation but updated with a new way of pinning my thumb, new wire method and a different way that my thumb was cut open.

 

The operation itself was fairly easy for me as I just slept through it. I find the general operation is so much easier. It's best not knowing what they are doing with your hand. I did feel a right idiot waiting for my operation, in my dressing gown, slippers & wearing my green dvt tights. Obviously I woke up after it very much out of it. Within an hour or so after coming around, I was on my way home chatting nonsense in the car due to the drugs, straight home & crashed out on the sofa. Took a few days for the anaesthetic to totally leave my system.

It's been nearly four week since I was in hospital for my thumb operation. During these weeks it's been nothing short of a nightmare. So many nights without getting any sleep due to either the pain or just couldn't get comfy due to only being able to lye certain ways. I had forgot how difficult it is to do anything with one hand. Amazing how hard it is to undo a bottle or open a can and as for showering, now that was tricky trying to keep my hand from getting wet. I've even had to buy new trainers and bottoms that I can put on without having to tie laces or fasten buttons, you must try fastening shoe laces with just one hand, now that's tricky! Plus not being able to do anything is so frustrating. I tried watching television & films but kept falling asleep due to not sleeping much in the evening. The mornings of watching Jeremy Kyle have turned into the highlight of my days, how sad is that?! The weather has been so lousy I've not been able to get out the house much. Trips to asda haven't been much fun, so many people pay no attention to the fact your in a cast.

Thumb 2.0

Anyway my pin comes out tomorrow (see above), which I'm not looking forward to at all. A pair of pliers will be waiting for me in the hospital to pull it out as long as my thumb is healed enough to remove the pin. I can feel the hot sweats coming on now just thinking about it. It looks like something from a saw movie!

Thumb 1.0
Thumb 1.0

Here's thumb 1.0 from a few years ago

 

Friday 29 June 2012

End of the world

You know the end of the world is coming when a Robot always wins at Rock, paper & scissors!

 




 

Saturday 21 April 2012

Petrol & Chips

Just think of the two smells you remember the most from being a kid, it was the smell of chips & petrol.
Every guy I know, when they were young would wind the window down just enough so they could get a whiff of petrol when their parents stopped to fill up & don't you say you didn't, because we all did.
Chippy tea on a Friday night was amazing when you were a kid. More so for Northern kids than southern kids I think, us up north loving our chips while down south they love the smell of fusion cuisine or something like that.

Why has no one ever combined the two? Just think of it, a petrol station with a drive-through chippy connected to it but it would only sell chips. We can't risk people with hot pie juice around petrol, would spell disaster.
So quick n easy just chips would be the one. Rather than spend a 70p on a Mars bar, you could get a portion of chips instead & pay the same time when buying your fuel.
Fuel both body & car at the same time!
The whole chain of petrol station chippy's Could even be called "cheap as chips".
If you ignore the whole health & safety problems with flammable petrol along side boiling hot chip fat, I think it's a great idea.

Take this blog post with a pinch of salt.


Monday 16 April 2012

Cheerio to my party trick

As i sit & wait in the hospital I've decided Wii fit board should be fitted in all hospitals, just to hear it say "measuring" would be a joy. It would make the prospect of finding out your obese a little easier to take. Maybe a little wii bowling to test out the old hips.
But I could see it a few old people who will get a bit confused when asked to step on the wii, "I'm not standing on your wee, call yourself a doctor!"

So in just over a week, my last original thumb will be gone. No more party tricks for me. Even the nurse I saw said I should be on Britains got talent. That was after she asked about what my operation was for, at which point I showed her by popping my thumb out of its joint. I probably should warn people before I do it, as she looked a bit shocked.

Farewell thumb


Thursday 9 February 2012

Pussies Galore

Our furry little friends, cats, seem to be everywhere these days. Not on the streets begging for milk, but in the news. This week we have seen the Anfield cat & stories of big cats.

The Anfield cat caused a stir when he ran onto the pitch during Liverpool v Tottenham in the 11th minute, his one minute of fame will be remembered more than the actual game. This cat went past more players than Stuart Downing has done all season. It's unfortunate the cat never stayed on longer, would of been better if it had done a poo in the centre circle.

A steward managed to get the cat caught and escorted out of the ground.

The next cat to make the news was the "Beast of Stroud". A 6ft long black cat has been spotted around Stroud. The cat which is thought to be either a Puma or some kind of Leopard. No attacks on humans so far but a fair few deers have been killed by the animal. Not old dears but animal deers.

So if you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise, well more like skeletors cat but you won't have He-Man to save you this time. Maybe farmer Giles might rescue you with his trusty shot gun.

All over the Internet you can find thousands of cat videos. The best being a cat that says "no, no, no, no".

Then there are the cute videos with cats getting teased and there's nothing better than seeing a cat chase a laser.
Plus I dare you to sit through the full one hour of the Nyan Nyan cat video....

Go on I dare you.

Sunday 8 January 2012

90 Seconds of Joy

The scoreboard read LIVERPOOL 0 OLDHAM 1 for all of 90 seconds but for many, if not all of the 6,000 fans will never forget it. The premiership days are a distant memory now. Back in the early 90's we were being teams like Liverpool for fun, sadly times have changed.


The Friday night in Liverpool thankfully pulled the town the supporters and the club together.
Traveling down the motor-way seeing the Latics coaches in convoy leaving Oldham heading towards Merseyside was a good feeling. Walking up through Stanley Park just hoping we wouldn't let our selfs down and thankfully we didn't. It was a party atmosphere even before the game had begun. Even had Luis Suarez walk past me inside the ground.
Luis Suarez
 As soon as we walked up the steps and saw the pitch that was it, camera time! As the teams came out, blue balloons & confetti filled the air, magical.

Even 5-1 down we were loving every minute of it. Also the fact we outplayed Liverpool for the 1st 25 minutes and took the lead with a truly amazing goal and should of been 2 nil up before that. As Simpson hit it, it was then a second or so to realise, holly shit we've just scored! As Simpson ran the length of the pitch towards the Oldham fans, grown men were hugging each other, dancing, jumping and even people crying. Even a blue flare was set off only a few yards from me. We didn't even have chance to settle back down as Liverpool jammed the equalizer. Even then we held Liverpool till the 45th minute when Liverpool were given a soft penalty, which Steven Gerrard scored. We felt cheated at half time. The second half flew by, we still created chances and played well.  Virtually all the 6,000+ Oldham fans stayed behind to applaud the team at the end.

Where was the famous atmosphere? we asked. The Kop was so quiet all game. You hear all this about the magical Kop atmosphere. Even at 5-1 down we were bouncing, singing and proud of our team. Yet Liverpool fans....not a peep from them.

Many of people reading this will think, so what? But for all you who support football league clubs like Bury, Rochdale etc... Will know exactly what it means to go up against big premier league teams. For those that don't understand the feeling.. Best put down that sky remote and go down and support your local team.

The only sour note was one of our players, Tom Adeyemi being racially abused by a section of Liverpool fans leaving him in tears has left a bit of a sour note on it. This occurred when the score was 3-1, after that the team and tom were mentally and physically worn out and it showed with two late Liverpool goals making it 5-1, such a flattering score line for Liverpool and so unfair on us.


Oh when the blues.............